April | Will

Each of the Twelve Powers is coordinated with a month, color, disciple and the body location, as listed above. When focusing on the Power of Will behind the left eye, visualize the color gray or silver, call upon the Disciple Matthew for guidance and support, and repeat the following affirmation:

“Not my will, but thine be done.”
“God’s will for me is good.”
“I am willing to do thy will for good.”
“God’s will for me is abundant good and infinite joy, and eternal life.”

Willfulness, willingness, intentions, plans, goal-setting, ego, self-importance, contentiousness, “My Way” The above subjects can become issues for healing during this course whether or not you’re doing it in April. The monthly associations are especially helpful for further attuning to the energies. For instance, when Easter occurs during April the entire Easter Story is appropriate: Last Supper, Garden of Gethsemane, Crucifixion, Ressurrection.

Migraine headaches, stubbornness, resistance, congestion, cramps, tenseness, stress, inflexibility, rigidity (every organ of the body because of fixed attitudes), deafness (not willing to listen or hear) eyes (won’t look or see), hardened arteries result from hard-heart/thoughts originate in will. All mind and body functions which originate in the brain, such as headaches: also mental or brain disorders. Working with this Power Center of Will can heal many mental and physical conditions.


Musical accompaniment for your seminar further impresses upon your subconscious the lessons. Whenever you hear, at any time in the future, the melodies, your seminar experience will be refreshed in your consciousness. Some suggested songs and music are included. Adding your own can be fun, creative and expanding; it also provides an opportunity for adventure and self-awareness as you search for the appropriate music. Preparing your own tapes of the Processes and/or musical accompaniment is especially impressive upon your subconscious. I’ve spent hours, days, weeks searching out just the right music or song, which keeps me focused on the lessons. I use the following music in my seminars. However, any music that helps to impress these songs on your subconscious mind are okay. I’d love to hear your suggestions. If you don’t have access to music don’t worry, the program works without it.


“Life is What You Make It” — Johnny Mathis
“Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life” — John Denver
“Today Is The First Day — Bread
“My Way”
“Cat’s In The Cradle”
“On The Way To The Sky” — Neil Diamond
“The Day Begins” — Moody Blues
“Can Do”
“Moment By Moment” — Lily Tomlin, John Travolta


“Twelve Powers Of Man” Charles Fillmore
“The Will Is The Man”
“Christ Enthroned In Man” Cora Fillmore
Chapter 9

“Healing Secret Of The Ages” Catherine Ponder Your Healing Power Of Will”

“Your God Given Potential” Winifred Wilkinson Hausmann “Reeducate Your Executive Faculty”

“How To Use Your Twelve Gifts From God” William Warch “Will”

“Your Power To Be” Sig Paulson
“Your Power To Be: Will”


Twelve Powers of Man (6-cassette set of tapes)–Ed Rabel
The Jesus Story–Ann Ree Colton
Twelve Apostles–Robert Brownrigg
Thirteen Men Who Changed the World–H.S. Vigeveno

There are innumerable books on many subjects that also apply to the above subjects under the headings of: Prosperity, Self-Help, Psychology, Healing, Health, Mind Power, Dreams, Life after Death, Prayer, Color, and many, many, others.



1.In your Garden of Gesthsemane Process, what did Jesus tell you was the “Will of God”?
2. How do you FEEL about what Jesus told you?
3. What do you THINK about what Jesus told you?
4. What happened when you visited with Matthew?
5. Describe your “EASTER PROCESS.”
6. Are you ready for the Commitment to Surrender? Explain.
7. Write out your feelings about Surrendering.
8. Would you follow Joshua as your leader? Explain.
9. “Choose this day whom you would serve.” Write your answer.
10. What do you feel you would have to give up to fully Surrender to God?
11. Do you think the results would be worth your sacrifice?
12. Read Bible Passages referring to Will and Surrender.
13. Listen to songs referring to Will and Surrender.
14. Prepare a poster relating to Will and Surrender using a gray or silver poster as the predominant
15. Read magazine articles or books about Will or Surrender.

Read the Easter/Resurrection Story in the Book of Matthew and other Gospels.

Attend Palm Sunday and Easter Services.


We tend to think of the will as bad or undesirable. Parents often feel it is their duty to “break the will” of a child. I’ve been taught, for instance, that we should be willing rather than willful. However, based on the definition of these two words it’s my opinion that we’d be no more than robots without our will. The Dictionary defines will as “The power to make conscious, deliberate choices or to control what on does.” Sounds good to me. Willing is defined as “having the mind favorably inclined or disposed. Readily and glady offered, done, given, etc. Synonyms: accomodating, compliant, obliging. Willful is “deliberate, intentional, stubborn, headstrong.” I think God created us with the power of will so we can be clear on our intentions, and can take deliberate and decisive action when God guided. We can always say “Yes,” to God as we surrender our will, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. Yet, He did state his preference, then added, “Nevertheless, Father, not my will, but thine be done.” Remember, not will-power, but God-power.

I don’t know about stubborn or headstrong, however when balanced with the twin power of Understanding, and merged with love and wisdom, will is a favorable mind power that we must not surrender to another person. The Will and Understanding centers, located in the nerve centers behind the eyes (right eye Understanding; left eye Will) must be trained to work together with Understanding leading Will just as our eyes must work in unison for clarity of sight and vision. We do not want to subjugate or break the will, but rather we learn to use it as the Executive Power for which it is designed. It becomes an inner Power; not a power over someone else. Our childish willfulness (often termed rebellion) needs to come into maturity as we grow into adulthood, no matter what age this occurs. Willfulness actually stands in the way of our freedom, rather than giving us freedom. With intuitive Understanding lovingly guiding the way, we can let go that childishness as we help our inner child grow up, and we give up resentment, resistence, and rebellion. We can also call on our Mind Power of Wisdom and Good Judgment when our willfulness is running rampant. Thus Will is tempered with Love, Understanding, and Wisdom. These four Powers also must work together with the Mind Power of Zeal once we’ve gotten clear on our intentions and launch into fulfilling God’s Will for good in our life.


Matthew, a tax-collector, obviously had a keen mind and was good at mathematics, therefore he dealt in logic and reason. His gospel was the most detailed and complete account of Jesus’s activities. Read the Gospel according to Matthew to become more acquainted with him, and notice the stories he finds significant compared to John’s, for instance. Both were disciples, yet each brings his own personalty into the writings. All three gospels, Matthew, Mark and Luke report Jesus telling Matthew, “Follow me,” and “He left everything, and rose and followed him”; apparently right in the middle of business. That man was clear on his intentions; no wonder he represents Will. The narrative of Matthew’s calling says he later invited Jesus to a meal at his house, and this caused considerable furor from the Pharisees and their scribes who questioned Him eating with “sinners and tax collectors” (no offense to the IRS). Jesus replied, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” He was referring to passages from the Old Testament: “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice” (Hosea 6:6), and “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22). You’ll notice Jesus was telling his questioners to ask their higher selves (intuitive guidance). And we also must find our answers within.


You may need to work through some blocks, barriers, or considerations about “God’s Will” before starting this process because God’s Will has been the scapegoat and cop-out for not taking responsibility for one’s own life. Just as God created His universe according to His consciousness (all good) we create our world by our consciousness. Ooops, check-out time. I didn’t want to hear that. No wonder Will affects our hearing, as all organs of the body. it is the executive power of the mind, and directs all physical and emotional responses. our subconscious says, -I don’t want to hear this,” and the Will executes the command by shutting down our ability to hear. Same is true with the eyes responding to our see-ability. And all organs and functions of our body. So we can no longer blame the “Will-of-God.” Also your belief system may present logic and reason as to why this process won’t work. For
instance, it could say, “I don’t know what the Garden of Gethsemane looks like, how can I create it?” Then imagine what it looks like; or picture any garden. Here’s a clue, there are many olive trees. Also, if Jesus and the disciples don’t seem to be there, imagine them. Do whatever is necessary to make the experience real and believable. Every time you visit the Garden of Gethsemane you will have greater insights and understanding.


Become comfortable and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release. Feel yourself letting go and releasing your thoughts and control. Take another deep breath, relax. Now surrender your intellect into the Christ presence. Imagine a silver-gray energy centered around and behind your left eye. Take a deep breath and feel the energy gently swirling through your head, and then gradually throughout your body until you are a being of silver Will-energy. Become saturated with this energy — smell, taste, hear, feel it — so you can recreate it instantly. As the silver Light energy is swirling through your body affirm, “I AM WILL.” When the energy has become intensified, allow it to transport you to the Garden of Gethsemane. Visualize the olive trees, shrubs, any flowers. Become aware of the smells, sights, and sounds as you stroll in its peaceful energies. Spend as much time as you desire in this setting Jesus chose for solace. When you feel ready, become aware of others in the Garden. Look around and you’ll see Jesus praying. You can also see the disciples asleep nearby. You hear Jesus saying, “Nevertheless, Father, not my will but thine be done.” Walk toward Him. He expects you. Sit down beside Him. Feel His deep love as He greets you. Introduce yourself, although He already knows you, and then ask if He has a message for you about Will or God’s Will. Then ask “What is God’s Will for me?” If you don’t understand what He’s saying, ask Him to clarify. Spend as much time with Jesus as you wish. Enjoy His presence and energies. Get to know Jesus as a person, friend, teacher, brother; who He really is instead of who others have said He is. Communicate with Jesus as long as you wish. Remember, you can recreate this meeting place anytime you choose. He is always with you; He never leaves you. And the disciples, too, are within you always, only waiting to be called forth upon your request. They each represent a Power, or energy force within your body. Matthew represents Will, and he’s waiting for you now. So when you’re ready, say goodbye to Jesus and walk toward Matthew. He’s smiling as he walks toward you and greets you by name. Sit down with him and ask any questions that will further acquaint you with him as a real person with his own identity. Ask if he has any communications for you about Will. Remain with him as long as you desire. When you are ready, say goodbye. Now walk alone through the Garden, and if you like, sit down awhile and commune with yourself in these energies. Become clear about your understanding of the messages you’ve received. And ask yourself about your purpose, intentions, and goals. This may be a time of soul-searching, lifestyle-changing, or simply being still and at-one-with yourself and your Christ presence. When you are ready, look around and you’ll see Jesus and the disciples coming to join you in a love-circle. Join hands and feel the energies of Jesus (Christ presence) and your Twelve Powers: Matthew (Will), Thomas (Understanding), Peter (Faith), John (Love), James (Wisdom), Nathaniel (Imagination), Simon the Zealot (Zeal), Phillip (Power), James the Less (Order) Andrew (Strength), Thaddeus (Elimination), and Judas (Life). Close your eyes and tune into these energies until you feel them merged into oneness with you. There is no separation; Jesus and the Twelve Powers are within you now and always. Remain in this consciousness until you are ready to return to the room. Then become aware of the sounds around you, and slowly bring yourself back into the present moment filled with the Light and fully understanding who you are and God’s Will for you.

I didn’t want to tell you this before your Garden of Gethsemane Process, because I didn’t want to influence your experience with a preconceived idea. But with the many people I’ve guided through this Process, no matter what their previous beliefs, each received the message that God’s Will for you is whatever you want. In other words, God gave you the desire (which means “of God), and your wanting it is fulfilling God’s desire or Will for you. The first time I realized this idea I thought lightening would strike me dead, but it didn’t. I’m still here, and it’s clearer to me than ever that God’s Will is for good, so our desire for good is God’s Will for us. Rather than a lightening bolt, I’ve been struck with en-Light-enment. I’ve also discovered through the years that it’s imperative for us to get clear on our intentions to understand what we really want. Often what we think we want is not what we really want. I’ve written several books relating to this subject: “Knocking on Doors: A Modern Horror Story of Downsize and Layoff,” tells my husband, Van’s story of discovering what he really wants. and his process of getting clear on his intentions. “Going Down the Tube With “Em on the Way Up” is my codependency recovery process of dissecting my true wants from Vans. Catherine Ponder, once wrote in her prosperity book words the effect that it often takes many years for the details to fall into place for our prayers to be answered. I certainly understand that lesson.


In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus felt human limitations as He prayed “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” He went through every step we must take in this transformation process. He is our wayshower. And we too go through feelings of doubt before we finally surrender to God’s Will, which is for the highest good, because God’s Will is Love. “I am willing to surrender to the Will of God (Love); unconditionally without strings or conditions.” This is the meaning of Surrender, being who you really are. It is the full merging of your conscious and subconscious with the Christ, and living life from that level of integrity. It becomes a mutual agreement from all levels of yourself, and naturally occurs without effort or pain as you live your life from your newly evolved consciousness.

Changes of past behavior give way to desires motivated by love that will not bring harm to oneself or another. Until we reach this degree of selflessness, we have not surrendered into oneness with God. When you are ready Surrender occurs quietly, perhaps surprisingly. It is a peaceful -letting go and letting God.- It usually begins with words to indicate that you are tired of doing it all yourself; that you welcome help, that, as someone has said, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Another simplified plea states simply, “Help!” The following words from a Unity Hymnal convey the feeling:


Take my life and let it be Consecrated, Lord, to Thee:
Take my moments and my days; Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move At the impulse of Thy love;
Take my feet, and let them be Swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing Always, only, for my King;
Take my lips, and let them be Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; Not a mite would I withhold;
Take my intellect, and use Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will and make it Thine; It shall be no longer mine; Take my heart, it is Thine own; It shall be Thy royal throne. Take my love; my Lord, I pour At thy feet its treasure store; Take myself, and I will be Ever only, All for Thee. For some, this degree of Surrender may be too intense, or perhaps premature. You may fear you are giving up something. Yes, you are giving up the negativity you no longer want to retain. Scary? Yes, it seems to be a threat to your very survival. And in one sense it is a threat to survival, of your personal ego and will, and to the old habit – patterns of failure, fear, loneliness, rejection, and illness. Yet, the time will come when you reach this level of Trust.


“Cast your burden on the Lord.” What a relief it is to let go of the burden we thought we had to carry all by ourselves; to know that God carries the load when we release it to Him. Jesus said, “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” When you have reached this place in consciousness you are ready to throw away your lists and plans and release them along with your goals. Know that God is the Source of your supply. This takes tremendous trust and faith. It cannot be done until you have reached this place in consciousness to let go. it cannot be forced. We “let it happen” rather than “make it happen.” Is it possible to surrender into the burdens of your life as if falling into a huge, thick, fluffy white cloud; one that will not allow us to fall through the bottom? This is the way to visualize or experience Surrendering; simply letting go into the everlasting arms.


Lie down where you will be comfortable and undisturbed. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, then release it. Relax and let go. Feel yourself becoming light and buoyant as you imagine yourself floating up into the air until you are above the clouds. When you are above a huge, white, thick, fluffy cloud become aware of all the burdens that you felt you had before you started this process. Now feel yourself dropping into that fluffy, white cloud. You don’t have to worry about falling through because there is no bottom; it is endless.

As you are dropping into the cloud, begin to let go of those things that have been burdening you. One by one release … release … release … release … release. Release and let go. Just feel yourself sinking back into the “everlasting arms. You are totally supported and uplifted. You can not fall through or out of this supporting energy. Continue the experience of letting go. As you do so you will notice you are, again, becoming lighter and lighter. You are beginning to stop the falling sensation and are feeling a leveling-Off, a relaxing and letting go of tightness and tension. You are enjoying a wonderful sensation of floating serenely through the cloud, carefree and ever so light and unburdened. Feel it. Feel it. Just continue letting go and letting God. Enjoy this euphoric sensation as long as you wish. This is a process you will not wish to complete. When you are ready simply open your eyes and go about your life without taking back the burdens you have released. You have let them go. They are no longer attached to you. With a sigh of relief, just turn it all over to God, relax and enjoy the rest of your life.


The significance of Will’s monthly coordination with April is symbolized in the Easter Story, which often comes this month. The Will must be guided by Understanding (the Christ or I AM), and the childish headstrong willfulness (wanting my own way, rebellious) must be forgiven, released, crossed-out (crucified). Crucifixion symbolizes forgiveness — giving love for the apparent wrongfulness. Love is the Resurrection! We must crucify, or cross out the negative hurt, hate, unforgiveness, resentment, fear, and hostility that we have been carrying around with us, and let love lift us up (resurrect) our entire being into the wholeness and newness of spirit. How? By surrendering our self-will to Self-Will (God-Will) by simply letting go. Jesus said we can do anything He did; and He showed us the way. “But,” we complain, “I’m not willing to go through the pain of the crucifixion. Somehow it doesn’t seem that easy to let go all this pain, burdens, and stuff I’ve been carrying around. If it’s that simple, then what must I do?” Jesus gave us the answer from the cross when He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” As often as we may have forgiven, it must be done on a deeper level which includes the Subconscious, and within it the inner child. And the most important to forgive is ourself — for all our mistakes, feelings of unworthiness, guilt, blame, And regrets. We did the best we were able under the circumstances in that state of consciousness.

Our parents were a vital influence in our lives, and much of our behavior came from them: what they did or didn’t do, and how it affected us, or rather how we reacted and coped. Some say their parents didn’t love them enough; others say their parents loved them too much. Yet others say they loved us the wrong way, or not the right way. I wonder when we will come from cause rather than effect by taking responsibility for our own lives. After all, our parents also did the best they knew. They were just people such as ourselves who became parents without a handbook on raising and operating this particular model of child. Yet they are expected to be gods from the childs viewpoint. We get so embroiled in this blame-syndrome that we are often not free to live our own lives. So we must declare our freedom from our parents by forgiving them, and forgiving ourself. And then we can release them, and ourself. And this is the crucifixion process. We can use it to cross-out and release all facets of our life that needs forgiveness. After the crucifixion, the glory of resurrection lifts us into a new level of consciousness. And then we complete the Easter Story with the ascension (the total merging or union with God). This occurs when we realize our oneness with God. It can happen in an instant, a lifetime, or many lifetimes. The following Easter Process, utilizing the colors of the Twelve Powers will assist you with your experience.


Become comfortable, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Slowly release and let go as you begin relaxing. Take another deep breath and visualize a blue energy of Light centering in the area of your brain. Release the breath and take another; visualize a gold energy of Light centering behind your right eye. Release and take another breath; visualize a sliver/gray energy of Light behind your left eye. Release and take another breath as you visualize a light blue energy of Light between your eyes in the center of your forehead. Release and take another breath; visualize an orange energy of Light in the back of your neck. Release and take another breath; visualize a purple Light energy centering in your throat. Release and take another breath; visualize a pink light energy centering in your heart. Release and take another breath; visualize a yellow Light energy in your abdominal area. Release and take another breath; visualize an olive or dark green energy of Light in your solar plexus. Release and take another breath; visualize a light green energy of Light centering in your lower back and adrenal glands. Release and take another breath; visualize a russet energy of Light in your organs for elimination. Release and take another breath; visualize a red energy of Light in your reproductive organs. Now stretch out your arms, either literally or in your imagination so you form a cross. As you are willing to let go of burdens you’ve been carrying in the form of unforgiveness, resentment, guilt, fear, unworthiness, and all negativity take a deep breath and visualize all the colors gently swirling into a rainbow of Light-energy. Feel their activity energizing your entire body — head, arms, legs, and torso — and dissolving all those negative feelings. Just surrender them into the Love of God, and the colors are swirling them away in this crucifixion, or crossing-out process as I affirm, “Father forgive them — me — for we know not what we do.” As they are released you feel freer, lighter. Forgiveness is the crucifixion. When this is complete imagine that your entire body is surrounded by pure white Light: the Christ Light. The other Lights have merged with that Light so that your entire being is now radiating the Pure White Christ Light. Everything else has disappeared and only the Christ Light remains. Feel the perfection and wholeness of your Oneness with God. You are the resurrected, renewed Christ. You are the son of the living God You are the Christ Light. Jesus told us that we can do anything He did. Go forth now and live the life in Love. You are the resurrection. Love is the resurrection.