“Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process — a journey rather than a destination. “Just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things — as well as us — get better. “We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen.”

“Today I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken” (Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie).

“We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity … We should anticipate these stages inour emotional cohvalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinteredness in life, gradually giving way … tothe new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistable challenge of life. (Joshua Loth Liebman)

Start Here

Getting to know oneself as a separate identity begins in early childhood when the symbiotic cord is broken in a seemingly power-play struggle between parent and child. However, this is a normal stage often thwarted by misunderstanding parents. Thus that Toddler Developmental stage is damaged, and poor self-image and self-esteem occur. Also each developmental stage thereafter is affected until finally a wounded inner child lives within the adult. So we have children in grown-up bodies trying to assume responsibility in relationships, marriage, child-raising, and jobs.

Unfortunately these damaged adult children are running our country, state, churches, schools, hospitals, and law enforcement; to name a few areas where we wonder about irresponsible management. Becoming aware of and healing this inner child is vital to healing our personal dysfunctionalism, and also the nation’s, and world’s dysfunctionalism. And herein lies the answer to resolving crime and violence. Reclaim the wounded inner child and the family, and you automatically resolve the larger problem.

I often refer to my Twelve Step recovery program, Codependency Anonymous (Coda). The main issue with codependency is an inability to define oneself. Because of our dysfunctional childhood, our individuality is so shut-down we are not able to identify ourselves from another. We depend on someone else for our identity: How do I feel? What do I want to do? We don’t know until we ask you. Sad but true.

“Saying ‘Yes’ to Myself” is an answer to solving these problems and becoming our true selves. Click below to begin your exciting Journey of Recovery.

Saying Yes to Myself: The Course

BOOK ONE: “On the Road, Again”
Introduction: Joanie and Little Ralph
Join us on this Travel Series that takes us on our inner and outer journey, while Van and I heal our inner kids and they teach us how to have fun “On the Road”: coast-to-coast and border-to-border.


The Twelve Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous

I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions..

1. I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
2. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
3. I know a new freedom.
4. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
5. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
6. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
7. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
8. I learn that it is possible to mend – to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
9. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
10.I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
11.I trust a guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
12.I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.