Trust God through the unkown, and also the known

Chapter 3

We’re in For a Ride!
February is the month for Love, and it started early, this month, with Sunday on the First; so, of course, the Sunday sermon related to Love; and much more, because the title, “The Path of Change,” allowed the co-minister, Rev. Lisa, to encompass whatever she felt guided to say; and she did. In fact, the title of this chapter came from her, along with the statement: “When Love Happens, It’s God!”

I love it! After all, God is Love. God is All. All is Love. I am Love. You are Love. Everyone and Everything is Love. So, whatever it is, it is God. How simple and all-inclusive is that? If it is; It is God. So, of course, “When Love Happens, it is God; whatever happens, it is God. Actually, if it exists; it’s Love. It’s God.

For some reason, that statement reminds me of a sign I saw, along the highway, in my RVing travels: “If you got it, a Trucker brought it”! I always had a greater appreciation of truckers, after seeing that sign, (and also realizing what they must go through, as truckers). By the same token, once I fully understood that whatever happens, it’s God, I had a fuller realization that everything is Good, because it’s God, and God is Love and God (Love) is Good.
This premise has been with me for many years, and I express it in all of my writings, one way or another. I can’t say that I have completely mastered applying it in my life, such as when I see some of the terrible things that happen, but I’m working on it. Perhaps it will help to remember the title of Byron Kati’s book, “Loving What Is,” that Rev. Lisa quoted, “This moment is the perfect teacher.”

Yes, we are here to learn, and life is the teacher; so are our relationships; each person is a student/teacher, so we bless the experience and love whatever happens. If we could all learn this simple, but complex truth, there would be no reason to write anything else. But, as I always say, “I’m a writer, so I will write.” If you can get clarity on who you are, and what you do, and then accept it, in Love — as Love
— you will have gained the best that this book has to offer.

Speaking of relationships, the following poem seems to fit in nicely with “the ride,” that often accompanies them, and the need for love and understanding:

A Credo of Detachment

You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep.

Yet each of us is a separate person with his own unique needs and the right to try to meet those needs.

I know that when you lash out at me in anger it is because you are
In pain. I will try to have sympathy for that pain.

I will not accept your accusations or blame for those feelings; neither will I take your pain into myself.

I will respect your needs as much as I can while always respecting
my own needs.

I will not search for solutions to your problems nor seek to solve your dilemmas… I will take declare not to ask you to solve my problems or take the blame for them. Each of us will maintain his or her own dignity.

I promise to listen to you without judgment, always reserving the right to feel good about myself; I will not allow my character, my looks, or my intelligence to be assassinated, nor will I assassinate your character, looks, or intelligence.

I reserve the right to continue to develop as a person and I will not allow you to interfere with this right.

My prayer is for a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship, and to that end I will strive to become what I am capable of being. I pray that you too will strive to become what you are capable of being. (By Evelyn Leite)

I’ll use this poem to lead into a quote, in the Love chapter, by Nada-Yolanda: “The pain we feel for those who lie, who slander us, who deliberately distort, who hurt and misunderstand us, who try to destroy us or our works becomes as a sword piercing the heart. This is the crucifixion. When our motives are pure and the love of God for each of His-Her creations and individualized expressions is active in our consciousness, the crucifixion we suffer mentally, emotionally and karmically is beyond any physical torture or time element. It can last for hours, days, years, lifetimes until the resurrection brings forth our light body.”

In other words, we can thank those people who cause our crucifixion, because they are assisting us toward our resurrection. And we can return our love to them, as part of our enLightenment.

I’ve already mentioned that February is the month for the Power of Love. So, let me add that the location, logically, is the heart. Dr. Knapp extends the location to include the circulatory system, which includes the liver, the spleen, the blood vessels, the blood and the lymphatic system. Reading his explanation of this Power is a mini-course in anatomy, however, I will suffice to say that the liver removes toxic items from the blood and converts them into harmless compounds, while the spleen removes old, worn-out red blood cells from the blood, retaining the iron from the hemoglobin and storing it for future use. The spleen also removes and destroys microorganisms.”

This explains why forgiveness is an essential part of Love. It is the releasing ad letting go of all that is unlike itself. As Dr. Knapp says, “Love is the key in healing all disease, especially heart and circulatory disorders.” He adds, “Studies have proven that a holistic program which includes a low-fat diet, exercise and counseling to remove love blockages reverses coronary heart disease. Opening the heart to let Christ love flow through opens narrowed coronary arteries. Love and forgiveness also stimulate the immune system, which protects all parts of the body from disease caused by infectious agents and keeps the physical form free of tumors. Loving God and loving one another heal mind, body and soul.”
I like the statement made by Nada-Yolanda: “Therefore, it is the love characteristic which recognizes the signs impregnated in our being signifying that the I Am is ready for birth.”

Isn’t this exciting? I had no idea, when I started writing this book, that I would be reading and sharing such important information, while also healing my own being, as I progressed on my Inner Journey

Getting Off My Position

It’s also a challenging process, for me, because it requires that I get off my position about certain matters, such as the color associations, with the Powers. Faith created no problems, because it is the same. However, Love is the beginning of the differences, which I will explain throughout this book.
The color correlations I follow were somewhat arbitrarily assigned by Joel Baehr, a Unity minister who has a master’s degree from the Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. On the other hand, those presented by Dr. Knapp were received inspirationally by Nada-Yolanda. Charles Fillmore did not correlate the colors nor the months, because he presented the Powers in the order that Jesus called them.

Therefore, with each Power, I will present both color correlations. I am partial to those of Joel Baehr, because they associate with the months more logically, in my opinion. For instance, to me, pink is the color for Love, even though red is usually associated with February and Love. However, it makes more sense that red is associated with Life, during the month of December.

Yet, these associations become much more complicated, when we try to compare the two viewpoints, because Dr. Knapp has changed the order of the last two Powers, which I won’t get into any further, until they are discussed, toward the end of this book.

I like what Dr. Knapp wrote about the colors: “They are interesting to experiment with but they are not essential to your ability to understand and work with your Powers.” It is also true that the sequence that the Powers are presented is not of primary importance; what matters is the energies of the Powers themselves.

In any event, there are other viewpoints of the color correlation, but I will limit my discussion to mine, and Nada-Yolanda’s (which is also shared in Dr. Robert Knapp‘s writings). She says that Love’s color correlation is white for purity.

John, the Beloved

The disciple John, called the Beloved, or, as John wrote, “the disciple Jesus loved,” obviously represents Love. His book and letters, in the bible, are filled with love energies, such as The Second Letter of John, which gives us a new twist on the old commandment: “That we love one another. And this is love, that we follow his commandments … that you follow love.” Or, “God is love, and he who abides in love, abides in God, and God abides in him. In this is love perfected with us,” which confirms my earlier statements.

…“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God should love his brother also.”

When I get started quoting John’s “Love Message,” I get so caught up in the love energies that I don’t want to stop, but I will, with the suggestion that you read the Book of John, and the three Letters of John, in the bible.

The Father Forgives

Continuing with the ideas of love and forgiveness, Nada-Yolanda reminds us, “Jesus never said, “’I’ forgive those who harm me and demand my crucifixion.” He, of his individualized personality self, could not forgive them. But the Father, the I Am Self within, does forgive. Only from that level can the forgiveness and the absolution from the sin or the error have any worthwhile effect. Lip service, on the physical or intellectual levels, or even an emotional forgiveness, is not enough. It has not lasting or permanent effect. Only the I Am part of ourselves, the Father within, can forgive destructive forces.”

I find this explanation extremely helpful, because there are people and circumstances that we may find intolerable to forgive. But, God, the Father within, not only forgives, but never blamed, in the first place; because God is Love. Love does not condemn.

“I love you with an everlasting love,” are powerful words, from Jeremiah 31:3, as spoken by God to the people of Israel, after they have been devastated. He promised that he would “pick up the pieces,” and rebuild. And that is His promise to us too.

This next statement of Nada-Yolanda is vital: “Until we reach the level Jesus demonstrated in his three years of ministry, it really is most difficult to express sincerely divine love and forgiveness for those who attempt to destroy honest and true spiritual works, thoughts and feelings.”

Isn’t that the truth? Yet, as she says, “Only when we establish a real connection from the Source of our own I Am Self to that of another can we really reverse the trend and decrystallize such thought patterns. When that love and forgiveness come from the I Am, we dissolve the outer actions and can redirect the energies of spiritual love.”

These are tough assignments, if we hope to attain our Light Body, so we can make the decision as to whether or not we think it is worth the effort.
I know that God has given me the opportunity to apply them, in my life. Forgiveness, for instance, looms before me, on a daily basis, yet it is comforting to know that it is not I, but the Father within, who forgives, as I continue with my relationships in daily living.

The Old Folks Home

For instance, living in a low-income senior retirement facility, that I refer to as The Old Folks Home, offers daily challenges of learning to accept and be non-judgmental. It seems that, as people grow older, they become more grumpy, critical, and less tolerant; not to mention the ongoing gossip, for apparent entertainment.

I’ve had to withdraw from the social aspect here, in order to preserve my own sanity and avoid the pitfall of indulging in the same pastimes. Fortunately, this gives me lots more time for my writing, and taking care of me and my needs.
I can definitely see why God has delivered me to this place, at this time, to move through the necessary lessons, in order to move forward on my spiritual path.

A Matter of Life, And Death, And Love

It’s been a week, or more, since I wrote the above words. In the meantime the events that I wrote about in chapter 4 have transpired, which definitely relate to love, but deserve their own chapter. Yet, I want to mention them here, in the Love energies, as I’m returning to this chapter. What happened is that my dear friend, Joyce Cole Davis, made her transition of death, and I have been processing through the feelings of my love for her, and hers for me, as well as my feelings of loss. Yet, she does not seem gone, for I feel her energies with me, as I’ve been writing about her, in the next chapter (when you get there, you will see why it must be a separate chapter).

However, this much must be told here, in the Love energies:

Last week, as I was preparing to go for my afternoon walk, Joyce’s daughter, Amanda, called to say that Joyce was no longer able to talk, and her kidney’s had shut down. This meant that she was very close to making her transition, and I appreciated that her daughter put the phone on speaker and allowed me to talk with Joyce, and tell her how much I appreciate our friendship, and that I love her. (I also told her that Freddy Lou, my webmaster, will be creating a new website for “Money Matters,” and we will be working with it to bring it back to life, which I will discuss in chapter 4).
Her daughter said that Joyce whispered “I love you,” and I said, “I love you, too, Joyce,” and I could feel the love energies between us, that we’ve shared throughout the years. It thrills me that, as long as she must die, our last communications to each other were “I love you.”
I asked Amanda to let me know when Joyce makes her transition, and I will add the final chapter of her life — and death — in the next chapter, as a tribute to my friend, Joyce.

I mentioned above, about forgiveness, and as I’m reflecting on my relationship with Joyce, I recall a time when we had a falling out and did not speak to each other for a long period of time. Finally, we were both at a workshop, given by Bob Trask, and we used the opportunity to forgive each other and move beyond whatever had caused the friction. Of course, I don’t even remember now; what is important is that we allowed our love to assist us in forgiving and moving on with our friendship (More about our relationship is shared in chapter 4).
The Adversary Uses Prednisone

A more current friendship that has fallen into the pitfall of dissolution involves my neighbor, Norma, who has been a friend with whom I shared many hours watching our favorite evening TV programs, playing cards, visiting, or going to restaurants or her church.
That is, until the adversary took over, in the form of a medication called Prednisone, which she was forced to take to relieve the pain of polymyalgia (kind of a combination of fibromyalgia and arthritis). The effects take over gradually, and like all addictions, one is not aware that the medication has impaired their judgment and behavior. This became apparent with Norma’s driving, when she made some minor mistakes in judgment, such as turning the wrong direction and insisting she was right. Then, when she realized she was wrong, not admitting it or even mentioning the subject, as she corrected her mistake and continued in the right direction.

Later, when another neighbor and I were riding with her, to and from church, on several occasions she made some near disastrous mistakes in judgment, always insisting that she is a good driver, and it was our fault for distracting her. Finally, one night when we almost got hit two different times, I shouted, “That’s it. I’m not riding with you anymore. The other woman had already quit riding with her, but this one time, she opted to join us for the ride home, because of the inclement weather. She no longer rides with her, either.

In the meantime, Norma’s behavior had changed, becoming more critical and gossipy, so that I did not enjoy being with her, nor did others. The same neighbor, who is also her friend, decided that we should bring it to her attention, so she would understand why we had stopped being around her. The neighbor talked to her in person, and I wrote a note, both done in love, in hopes Norma would realize that it was the Prednisone, and endeavor to correct her behavior.

Wrong! She continued to stay away from both of us, still blaming me for the episodes in the car, and misunderstanding what I had written; that I was simply being critical and don’t care for her company.

In the meantime, her health had worsened and she could not drive, nor did she leave her apartment; not even to attend church. Instead, she isolated, which did not help her condition, but it did give her time to reflect on what had been happening in her life. Norma is extremely devout, in her Christian beliefs and life, so went deeper into her studies and reading her Christian books and bible.

Her doctors finally got her medication adjusted to a lower dosage, and in time, she seemed to be more herself, and she began driving again. She also resumed her relationship with her neighbor. On the other hand, she wrote several notes to me, but none seemed to be an attempt to resume our friendship. I continually prayed about it, but my guidance always seemed to be that she needs this time alone, as part of her growth and healing.

So, I went on with my life, forcing myself through the relapse of the normal codependency feelings of loss and grief; also understanding that this experience was healing for me too. In other words, it’s a God-Thing, as we call such events that otherwise don’t seem to make any sense, but ultimately have a good result, in God’s Divine Plan for Good.

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went, without our relationship being healed. New Year’s didn’t make any change, either, although Norma seemed less hostile and would speak to me, when passing in the community areas of our facility.

She Took a Terrible Fall

She seemed to be feeling better, and had begun driving to church, again, taking along another neighbor, from our facility. But then, sometime, in January, another tenant asked me “How’s Norma?”

I said, “Okay, I guess.”

She replied, “You know, she fell and injured herself. There‘s a card to sign, on the table.”

I signed the card, and when the time seemed right, I went to her apartment to visit her. However, by this time she was heavily medicated and didn’t even remember that I had been to see her, as I learned when I returned, another time.

Poor Norma! Now, her arm was in a sling, as a result of her shoulder having been dislocated and fractured. She couldn’t take care of herself at all, so her granddaughter came daily to take care of her needs and fix her meals. And, of course, the ladies from her church came by to offer comfort. Now, she was getting the attention and concern that she had been missing, and needing.

I stopped by to visit a few times, and she seemed to be back to her normal friendliness. She even admitted that it seemed to take an awful lot, on God’s part, to finally get her attention. Of course, she could no longer drive, and she couldn’t use her arm, so she had a lot of time to think.
When we talked, we would discuss our favorite TV shows, and otherwise keeping things on a casual balance, but I could feel Norma returning to her true Christian attitude of love and friendliness.

One day, when I came home from an outing, she was in the community room, working the puzzle, so I said, “Well, look who’s here!” I sat down and asked how she was doing. She showed me her new sling, which allows her to move her arm, and she was happy that she’d had her hair cut, and she’s able to curl it, so that she looks her usual pretty self.

We worked the puzzle, pretty much in silence, but otherwise enjoying each other’s company. It felt good to be together, but I have no idea how our relationship will evolve: another opportunity to “Trust God Through the Unknown; And Also the Known.”

What is the Point?

While writing, I’ve been asking myself, “What does this story have to do with this chapter? What is the point?

The point is that the break in our relationship gave us both time and opportunities to search deeper, within ourselves, for questions and answers on our spiritual journey. And, it is for sure that Love and Forgiveness are definitely important aspects of that journey.

For me, it’s been a matter of constantly listening to God, rather than taking it upon myself how to relate with Norma, during this time. It’s been a matter of trusting myself, and my judgment, as well as God. It’s been a matter of moving much further, in my codependency recovery; not focusing on Norma, or our relationship, but focusing on God, and where He guides me; knowing when to be involved, and when to stay away and let God take care of His business, which is Norma. After all, God knows what He is doing, and He lets me know when He wants me to do something.

For instance, recently, when I’ve seen the tiny birds landing in the trees outside our windows (Norma lives in the apartment beneath mine), knowing how much she enjoys them, I’ve called to let her know they are there, which she appreciates. In other words, it’s the little things that make a difference.
A big lesson for me has been knowing that it is not up to me, but allowing God to take care of Norma. This is not an easy assignment for a codependent, believe me. But, we are both improving, as a result.

The Point is Love

The evening before Valentine’s Day, I felt God-guided to ask her if she would like for me to bring a frozen pizza to her apartment and we could eat it together. I know that God’s timing was involved, because she already had her oven heated to 425-degrees, the required temperature for the pizza, and despite her painful shoulder and arm, she had prepared some lettuce for a salad. So, I put the pizza in her oven and added some more veggies to the salad, and served the dinner, which we both enjoyed, while visiting.

I washed up the dishes and we watched TV with minimal conversation, and then I excused myself so I could return to my apartment to watch a program that I preferred to watch alone. The evening went as pleasantly as if there had been no break in our relationship, and it had been a good re-entry for our friendship.

I felt God-guided to ask if she would like for me to come to her apartment the next night and watch our favorite Saturday night TV shows: Lawrence Welk, Last of the Summer Wine, Travels to the Edge, and Rick Steve’s Europe.

She seemed glad for my company, and said, “Yes,” so we spent the next evening, Valentine’s Night, watching TV. What a lovely conclusion to the day in honor of Love.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

The Day had been pleasantly surprising, from the beginning. Thinking I’d be spending the day writing, I’d called my son, my daughter, Dottie, and then my stepmother to wish them each a Happy Valentine’s Day. But then, I received a call from my friend, Grace, who asked if I’d like to join her and Don (her love-mate) for breakfast.


Grace had said that they were going to a restaurant in Sandy, which is close to where they live, but a long way from where I live, yet they were willing to come get me; and to bring me home. In fact, while at it, they decided to pick up Don’s daughter, who lives near me, which made the day even more fun.
However, God seemed to have other Plans, possibly because it had been mixed snow with rain, earlier, and perhaps even more snow, in Sandy, which is quite close to snow-covered Mt. Hood, so while Grace was talking on her cell phone, Don made a wrong turn that took him out into the country, but in the wrong direction. Soon, he found himself heading back near my place, so he said, “We’ll eat at Tina’s.”

Grace was still on the phone, with a special Valentine call that meant very much to her, so when we arrived at Tina’s, I went inside and asked them to save us a table, because the place was packed.

When I got outside, Grace was off the phone and looking confused, as she asked, “What are we doing at Tina’s?”

I explained to her, but she was still somewhat disoriented, but went along with the plan, which, of course, was God’s Plan. I ordered fried razor clams, hash browns and eggs, with an English muffin, which was delicious.

Grace had planned for me to go with them to meet her grandson, who was giving a speech at a hotel near the airport. However, I’d planned to watch TV with Grace, so they drove me home and I bid them goodbye, with memories of the fine time we’d had on this surprising Valentine’s Day.
“In Quiet Solitude”

I’d had another surprise, earlier in the week. God had guided me to send my estranged daughter, Gail, a Valentine card. It’s hard to know how she will react to anything. There’s been times when I’ve sent her a loving card or gift and she’s returned it unopened. It’s just part of the ups and downs of her bi-polar illness, but our relationship has certainly been difficult for me to live with, and at times without, when she’s decided to call a “Time Out,” as she calls her efforts to control our relationship.

But, a simple Valentine signed, Love, Always, Mom, didn’t seem too unreasonable. After all, I hadn’t heard from her since Christmas Eve when she hung up on me, when I called to wish her Merry Christmas. I hadn’t attempted to call her, because it works better when she communicates, on her terms.
When I saw the card, in my mailbox, in her handwriting, several days before Valentines Day, I assumed that was the reason for the card. Instead, it was another card, which said, “In Quiet Solitude.”

The outside verse reads: “Healing ones inner self offers a refreshing hope. There is a place, a peace, in the quiet solitude of your soul. A place where comfort breaths life into a tearful heart.”

The inside verse reads:

“In the midst of silent sorrow
a soothing hallowed light
will gently caress you
Leaving a renewed strength
and inner courage
to face what lies ahead

In the wings of your journey
take that solo flight
Reach a higher plateau of fulfillment
and stand by the pillars of your beliefs

Release your soul to freedom
and ascend toward His light”

Without Gail knowing that my best friend, Joyce, had recently died, she had written: “Probably it is for someone who lost someone. We’re always losing someone or something,, aren’t we? Pray that you are well, along with your needs getting met. Not up to ‘chit chatting,’ as yet.”

Well, whatever. At least she made a communication, so as with my relationship with Norma, it is about letting God work things out with Gail, and her needs. He will also continue to take care of me, and my needs, as He always does, such as guiding me to send Gail a Valentine, which is what I wanted to do, anyway, but only if God-guided. So, the Love is there, and expressing as it expresses. It’s all God, and God is Love, so it is all Good.
“Roses on Your Pillow”

Another Love Story, hot off the press, happened this afternoon shortly after I read an e-mail forward that said I would hear something I wanted to know.
The phone rang and a masculine voice asked Do you know who this is?”

Judging by the heavy Texas voice, I said, “Dal.”

Actually, I wasn’t too far off, it was Buddie Williams, a friend of Dal’s when they were in a Huntsville, Texas prison.

I was so thrilled to hear from Buddie, because he had not responded to my Christmas card, and that is not like him. Because he was released from prison, due to his illness, I feared that he had died. So, I made sure he knew how thrilled I was to hear from him, and I made him promise that he have someone let me know, when or if he dies, which judging from how sick he is, could be any time. In fact, he has been in and out of the hospital, and he’s so weak he can’t even write. I fear that he will be the next friend to be taken by death.

Nevertheless, I was so happy to hear from him, and I was able to tell him that I have all twelve of the books, in the “Saying ‘Yes’” series written, and they will be published on a website, and that his letters are featured throughout the books. He’s probably too ill for it to make much difference to him, but he seemed pleased.

I told him that his letters made a big difference in the lives of those who read them in “The Rainbow Connection,” and he said that he was pleased with his Verde Mon Key series, which he was certain had been written by his muse.

I said that I knew God had been with him, and all of us who wrote for “The Rainbow Connection,” and he agreed.

I also asked him to write me a letter saying that he gives permission for me to publish his letters. He said that I already know that, and I agreed that I probably have such a letter in his files.

Before closing, Buddie mentioned that it would soon be time for the roses to be blooming, in Portland, which reminded me that he always signed his letters, “May there be roses on your pillow.” He even sent me a hand drawn picture of a red rose, which I’ve always kept.

It’s amazing the amount of unconditional love that Buddie, and so many of the Freedomers shared with me, and that I still feel for them. And what an injection of Love I felt from talking with Buddie today. It’s as if God is restoring to me, as He did to Job, those things which had been taken from him.
The love exchange, between the Freedomers is something so special that, at one time, I started another incomplete project called Love Circles, which would consist of a circle of eight people, who would send loving energies to each other, either through the ethers, or communicating through letters. It’s still a good idea, and one that I will, someday, complete, and it seems important to mention it here, along with all the other projects that I am revisiting and revitalizing, which will, some day, be on my website.

All these incomplete projects are part of the “Unknown and Known,” that I am to “Trust God Through,” as they are being unraveled and reviewed.

“I Am Comforted”

I like the following “Love Message” from my Daily Reading: “The love of God upholds and sustains me.”

It continues: Wherever I am, whatever the situation may be, I am not meant t go it alone. The love of God is present within me, upholding and sustaining me.

“At any time I begin to feel even a bit anxious, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I center my thoughts on the indwelling presence of divine love. I give myself a few moments to truly know how it feels to be loved unconditionally.

In the love of God, I am comforted and strengthened, calm and assured. Realizing that what I receive I can also give, I am divine love and strength in expression toward others. I am comforted, and I comfort others. These divine attributes and resources are mine, for I am a beloved creation of God.”
As I consider the events that I’ve written about, in this chapter, I find these words comforting, just as they are meant to be: an appropriate Love Message for Valentine’s Weekend, and as I’m facing the final days of my friend, Joyce.